What Words do YOU use?


A week or so ago I heard someone on the radio make a comment that is sticking with me and has made me think about it a few times so I'm going to pass it along to you.....the following is what I heard.

          "Don't use words to describe your situation, use words to change your situation." 

When people are coming to me for growth with their confidence, there are about a dozen things that I share with them over time that relate to imagery.  Imagery is a very powerful thing; it can truly create a situation just by how your actions are influenced by your imagery.  The same holds true for the words that you use.  If I say I’m going to fail, do poorly, have trouble with, get lost, then I will.  My actions will probably reflect what I’m saying and therefore will result in the very thing that I really don’t want.   With the imagery exercises, I invite people to use their power in imagery to create what they DO want instead of what they DON’T want.  For example, if you don’t want your horse to buck, then what DO you want him to do?  How does that ride feel?  What other pictures come to mind when you’re enjoying what you Do want?  The same can be said for the words that you use, both out loud and silently to yourself.  If you don’t want your horse to buck, don’t say “don’t buck”, rather say out loud and in your mind what you do want.  How do you want it to change your situation?  “I want a calm, fun, and smooth ride”.  Now to me, that sounds infinitely better than “don’t buck”, plus it gives me a clear picture that I can use for my positive imagery picture as well!  So how often do I have to repeat this to myself?  Well, I would ask you how often do you tell yourself what you don’t want to hear?

The same is true for describing your situation.  If someone asks me “how are things going with your horse”?  I don’t say “well, he seems to be quite reactive, he tends to shy at things, and one day I’m going to get hurt because of all this”.  No, I say “He’s coming along nicely!  He’s much more trusting, willing and looking to me for leadership.  Because of that I’ve learned so much more of how I need to be to support him.  It’s been a fun journey, we have miles to go, but we have all the time in the world”!  A much different picture, and all of it the truth.  By focusing on being the leader that I need to be for him, I continue to seek the help that I need to learn more about how to be that leader.  Fun!  It feeds my value for learning, adventure and fun.  To me what I do is a teaching and coaching business and I love to teach and coach.

So if some of the words that you’re thinking are “nothing seems to be working the way it should”, or “I wonder if I can do this” or “I’ll never be a good rider like so-and-so is”, then reconsider changing your situation, which starts with you.  It starts with your words, which then builds into your beliefs, and eventually into your actions. 

Of course we've all had our share of obstacles, problems to solve, negative people and situations to deal with, challenges and slow growth.  But for the most part my thoughts and words to myself are positive and about the future.   Tomorrow, next week, this year, 10 years from now.  My focus for the most part was on changing my situation.

A suggestion....what are the words you use to yourself and others most of the time?  Are you describing your situation most of the time or are you committed to changing your situation?   Do what I just did.  Take a few minutes and write out what words or thoughts you have most of the time.  Just think about how quickly and easily the negative comes to us, you can change your thinking to have the positive come to you just as quickly.  Eventually, you’ll bypass the negative all together, because using words to change your situation will be much more pleasant:)